Weapons of Math Instruction

Got this from my traveling buddy, and it brought a laugh. Flying has just about come to this. I did tell you all about getting frisked – after I had already been through security and was waiting in line to board the plane. Didn’t I?

A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

‘”Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes
go off on tangents in search of absolute values.” They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as
“unknowns”, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country.”

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

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3 comments on “Weapons of Math Instruction

  1. Miko says:

    You weren’t carrying a snowglobe by any chance, were you?

  2. Karen says:

    You lost me there. Snowglobe?

  3. Miko says:

    This snowglobe.

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