Don’t tell a soul, but my biggest fantasy is this: being accidentally locked in my local IKEA for a whole night, all by myself. I shouldn’t want for anything, certainly not food. I’d gorge myself on smoked salmon. I’d open all the closets, roll out all the rugs, and try out all the beds, blankets, and chairs. I’d light a few hundred scented tea candles, and pop open a few bottles of “Glogg” (nasty cheap spicy wine, I love it). I’d run up and down the stairs just for the hell of it. I’d have a blast.
And if I got bored, I’d have a go at reading the Swedish books placed in the display model rooms. I’ve noticed that many of them are picture books, and feature all manner of strange-looking humanoid creatures, especially trolls and dwarves. They fascinate me.
Hey, do you think it might happen if I hide in the loo until closing time?