From the problem pages, a foreign woman writes:
“I am worried about a recent change in my normally kind (Japanese) husband. We married overseas several years ago, and when his company moved him back to Tokyo, I realized I would have to settle in Japan for good. We bought a beautiful house last October with the hope of starting a family, and everything seemed perfect. Yet since moving into our new home, my husband calls every night after work in an aggressive but wheedling tone I have never heard him use before, ordering me to pick him up from the station no matter what the hour. He gets very irritated at my suggestions that he find his own way home. I am concerned about the meaning of his transformation since he refuses to talk to me. I was told these are the signs that he is becoming a “traditional Japanese husband” now that he has bought a house.”
The counsellor gave the usual wishy-washy advice about establishing rules, and talking it over (I don’t see why this would work, seeing as the writer has already stated that her husband refuses to discuss the issue – and since when have any of us ever succeeded in getting a man to talk about something that he doesn’t want to talk about?) and also infers that it is part of Japanese culture for men to act very spoiled at times, which is true.
But I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that she’s the one acting like a spoilt brat, or at the very least being very unrealistic. His house? His money? His country? His culture? Sorry babe … his rules. Now go and get your car keys.